By Madison Ream
“Any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.” Douglas Adams
Reflecting on the last 15 years of the ClueCon Conference we would like to present you with- drumroll please– The Hitchhiker’s Guide to ClueCon.
Now, I know you may be thinking you’ve been to other conferences and felt like an outsider so why should this conference be any different? I’ll tell you why. Because we’re giving you this kick a** guide, that’s why.
Whether you’ve been to ClueCon all 15 years, or this is your first time ever, the attendee list is constantly changing and is always made up of new faces who are looking to meet and connect.
So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride as we begin our trek through the ClueCon-iverse!
The reason this blog is published in the form of a micro sub meson electronic component is that if it were printed in normal book form, a ClueCon hitchhiker would require several inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in. (You’re Welcome)
The story so far:
In the beginning ClueCon was created.
This made a lot of people very happy and has been widely regarded as a fantastic move.
Many races believed that it was created by some sort of god, though the Open Source people of ClueCon MMIV believe that the entire ClueCon-iverse was in fact sneezed out of the nose of a 3-headed being called The Trio, individually known as Anthony Minessale, Mike Jerris, and Brian West.
This is indeed how ClueCon was created.
The following statements will serve as your guide through the ClueCon-iverse. Use them well.
- Don’t Panic
- A Raspberry Pi, it says, is about the most massively useful thing a ClueCon-iverse hitchhiker can have.
- Forty-two, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the ClueCon-iverse and everything. This number will be very useful to you on your journey, DO NOT forget it.
- Technology has achieved some wonderful things of course, but I’d far rather be happy than right any day.
- For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. This is because the hotel wifi was crap. Not to worry, we have our own.
- The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the ClueCon-iverse are so remote, the only thing to do is attend the conference.
- Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the raffle ticket as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.
- Seriously, Don’t Panic.
- In the end, it was the Thursday afternoons they couldn’t cope with, and that terrible listlessness that starts to set in about 3:30, when you know you’ve entered all your raffle tickets for the grand prize. You stare at the clock the hands that move relentlessly on to four o’clock, and you enter the long dark teatime of the unknown. Get ready, they may call your number.
- He was staring at the FreeCYCLED items with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down.
- The storm had now definitely abated, he figured out how to move the ping pong ball.
- There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to attending the conference. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself into the unknown and inevitably come out better for it. Bring business cards.
- The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of ClueCon Attendees, friendliness came in at number 1.
- Here’s an interesting little notion. Did you realize that most people’s lives are governed by telephone numbers? I’m sure you did if you’re part of the telecom community.
- Example of a conversation heard at ClueCon:
“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
“Er, five,” said Attendee 1.
“Wrong,” said Attendee 2. “You see?”
You can register and learn more about ClueCon here! ClueCon is an annual technology conference held every summer on August 5-8th and hosted by the team behind the FreeSWITCH open-source project. Our primary focus is to gather various open source projects to discuss VoIP, open source software and hardware, telecommunications, WebRTC, AI, and IoT. We sit at the intersection of communication and technology and celebrate all things technical. Join us for our special hack-a-thon: the Coder Games where you can show off your skills by building a contraption out of everyday materials, coding a self driving car, and participating in our VoIP Game Show!
We love to learn and we love to have fun; our conference truly is for developers by developers.